The one and only, Miss Catherine Tate:</p> <p>-I can’t believe we’ve got double English.<br /> -English is well dry.<br /> -I don’t see what’s so great about reading anyways.<br /> -No, reading’s for losers.<br /> -Innit though. At least we got a new teacher today.<br /> -Yeah, right, that’ll be a laugh, won’t it?</p> <p>-Morning.<br /> - All right.</p> <p>-As I’m sure you’re aware my name is Mr. Logan, I’m your new English teacher. Nice to meet you all. Hope you’re all ready to get to grips with some Elizabethan literature. Let’s all turn to page fifty three, in our poetry text books. I think we’ll dive straight in with the Bard himself.<br /> -Sir?<br /> -Yeah?<br /> -Are you English, sir?<br /> -No, I’m Scottish.<br /> -So you ain’t English then.<br /> -No, I’m British.<br /> -So you ain’t English then.<br /> -No I’m not but as you can see I do speak English.<br /> -But I can’t understand what your saying, sir.<br /> -Well, clearly you can.<br /> -Sorry, are you talking Scottish now?<br /> -No, I’m talking English.<br /> -Right. Don’t sound like it.<br /> -Okay, whatever you want. Now, let’s get on with Shakespeare.<br /> -I don’t think you’re qualified to teach us English.<br /> -I am perfectly qualified to teach you English.<br /> -I don’t think you are though.<br /> -You don’t have to be English to teach it.<br /> -Right, have we got double English, or double Scottish?</p> <p>-Is your name Lauren Cooper by any chance?<br /> -Yeah. Why?<br /> -Your reputation precedes you.<br /> -Innit though?<br /> -So, Shakespeare’s sonnets–<br /> -Sir?<br /> -A sonnet is a poem–<br /> -Sir?<br /> —written in fourteen–<br /> -Sir?<br /> —lines–<br /> -Sir?<br /> — the last two of which–<br /> -Sir?<br /> —must form a rhyming couplet–<br /> -Sir?<br /> -Yes Lauren!<br /> -Can I aks you a question?<br /> -Not just now.<br /> -Can I aks you a question now?<br /> -Just wait.<br /> -But can I just aks you a question? I only want to aks you a question. Can I aks you a question? I’m just aksing you a question. Can I aks you a question?<br /> -What is it?<br /> -Are you the Doctor?<br /> -Doctor Who?<br /> -It is you!</p> <p>-I don’t know what you’re talking about.<br /> -You look like Doctor Who though!<br /> - I’m not Doctor Who, I’m your English teacher.<br /> -I don’t think you are though.<br /> -Lauren.<br /> -I think you’re a nine hundred and forty five year old Time Lord.<br /> -Listen.<br /> -Did you just pitch up from Mars?<br /> -Don’t be ridiculous.<br /> -You know your house, right.<br /> -What?<br /> -You know your house?<br /> -Yeah.<br /> -Is it bigger on the inside?<br /> -Be quiet.<br /> -Have you parked the TARDIS on a meter?<br /> -Can we please get back to Shakespeare! Thank you. So…<br /> -Do you fancy Billie Piper sir?</p> <p>-Right. You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach!<br /> -Thank you.<br /> -You’re pointless, repetitious and extremely dull.<br /> -A bit like Shakespeare.<br /> -You’re not even worthy to mention his name, William Shakes — William Shakespeare was a genius, you, little madam are definitely not. Now just sit there, keep your mouth shut or I will fail you in this whole module right now!</p> <p>-Ammist I bovvered? Ammist I bovvered forsooth?<br /> -Lauren.<br /> -Looketh at my face.<br /> -I don’t–<br /> -Looketh at my face.<br /> -Stop it.<br /> -Is this a bovvered face thou see before thee?<br /> -Right, I’m calling your parents.<br /> -Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?! Are thou calling my mother a pox ridden wench?<br /> -Enough.<br /> -Are thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?<br /> -Lauren.<br /> -But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple.<br /> -Listen to me.<br /> -But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple, though.<br /> -That’s enough.<br /> -Face, is –<br /> -Lauren.<br /> —bovvered–<br /> -Lauren, enough.<br /> —Look at it–<br /> -Enough<br /> —Look at it–<br /> —Stop, that’s it–<br /> -But my liege–<br /> — No, stop–<br /> —My liege –<br /> —Shh, enough–<br /> —My liege –<br /> — No–<br /> —My liege –<br /> —Enough–<br /> —Bovverd, face, this, bovvered–<br /> —Lauren–<br /> -*Scottish accent* You take the high road and I’ll take the low. *normal voice* I ain’t even bovvered. I ain’t bovvered. Look, face, bovvered, bovvered, face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered. My liege, I be not bovvered forsooth, I be not bovvered. Face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered, face, bovvered, Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain’t even bovvered.</p> <p>My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun,<br /> Coral is far more red than her lips’ red.<br /> If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;<br /> If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head.<br /> I have seen roses damasked, red and white,<br /> But no such roses see I in her cheeks;<br /> And in some perfumes is there more delight<br /> Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.<br /> I love to hear her speak, yet well I know<br /> That music hath a far more pleasing sound.<br /> I grant I never saw a goddess go:<br /> My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.<br /> And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare<br /> As any she belied with false compare.</p> <p>Bite me, alien boy!</p> <p>-That’s better. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.<br /> - I still ain’t bovvered.

This website has been posted for teaching English Grammar and Vocabulary through video lessons and example sentences showing how to use these grammar points and words in a sentence with the meaning in the authantic examples.